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Classifieds: Inventor Wanted!
SDF (Single Drunk Female) ISO inventor. I have several ideas I’d like some help actualizing. Can someone please help me make a drunk text breathalyzer? After 11 p.m. I’d like to have to blow below the legal limit on a breathalyzer attached to my cell phone before I am allowed to make slurry drunk dials and send illegible horny text messages to boys I shouldn’t be making out with. If someone could please get on inventing that, that would be great, thanks...
Oh, yeah! And also could you make me a camera that does the same thing? If my co-workers or parents see one more sweaty sloppy picture of me dancing on the internet I’ll just die. Speaking of dancing, how about some shoes with weights in the heels to prevent me from climbing up on bars, poles, and karaoke stages. Those might also aid me in trying not to tip over.
While we’re at it, how about an ATM card that stops working at midnight? Any cash I’m taking out at that hour likely involves strippers, drugs, or gambling; and, we don’t need to go down that road...again.
Lastly, I’m open to ideas for some sort of updated chastity panty to help me keep it locked up. My original thoughts involved some sort of breathalyzer for that as well; but, that presented me with two problems. Firstly, that only guarantees the sobriety of my potential suitor which has date rape written all over it. Secondly, if anyone’s face is close enough to my vagina to blow on my breathalyzer underoos I’ll chew the fucking things off, myself. Blueprints for these should include something thats appealing to the eye (What? Ever heard of look but don’t touch?), as well as some way to pee. The whole point is that these are to prevent drunken mishaps, and if I can’t break the seal things are going to get gross and messy fast. I don't need to add wetting my pants to my repertoire.
Anyway, any help in bringing these ideas to life would be helpful. Send replies to
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. Thanks, I look forward to hearing from you!
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I'm gonna go ahead and tell ya'll a little somethin' okay? There are two types of men in this world. Ladies' men... and well, the other men. In my journey's across the globe, womanizing of course, I have witnessed both kinds of these men. And because I am a ladies man, it is very easy for me to point out these "other men." So as a ladies man, haha yeeeah, it is my fiduciary obligation to all you wonderful ladies to show you who you should not be doing it with. Okay... enough about that. Here they are girls. BE CAREFUL out there!
Chose your gender!
